Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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