Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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