He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
