We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize