She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am naked and annoyed.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
