I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
