I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
