so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this boner is exhausting
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
