HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
