Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
