I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
