we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
