Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
