...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So much rum. So many feels.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
