we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
