please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
