He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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