how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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