at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
