and next time when you feel me up, do it right
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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