I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize