Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry about my life...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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