hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
