So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
