Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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