Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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