i jhust puked up my retainher.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
