Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
