Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
