She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
