I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
