Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Randomize
