I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
jump out the window naked night went bad
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
