is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
