He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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