just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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