so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
