Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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