Nicole vs. Life
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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