Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
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