Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
