he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
