i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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