Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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