"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
one might say we're banned from that church
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
