I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
