I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
