it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hippo gnu deer
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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