so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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