God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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