He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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