Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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