DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
