The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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