Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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