he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
