I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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