the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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