Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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