love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
