You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
