I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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