The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize