I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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