Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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