She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
