The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
