Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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