he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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