I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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