so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
