I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
